Overheard in Dubai: July Edition
By Yours Truly, currently melting in business casual
Welcome to Dubai in July: the month where walking outside feels like opening the oven to check your kale chips—and realizing the kale chips are you. It’s 110+ degrees, your steering wheel is a medieval torture device, and your iced coffee lasts approximately 11 seconds before transforming into “lukewarm regret.”
Here’s what’s being overheard between Burj views and sweat-stained suits:
1. “Let’s do a site visit in the morning.”
A bold request. We’ll all pretend to be outdoorsy until someone passes out in the car park.
2. “It’s a dry heat.”
Yes. So is a hairdryer. You want to sit inside one all day?
3. “I’m working remotely from Mykonos.”
Translation: I took one call and posted 12 beach selfies.
4. “The A/C’s been on all night, I woke up with frostbite.”
Dubai summer: either you’re sweating or you’re shivering. There is no in-between. Where’s my office Snuggie?
5. “It’s quiet this month, we should catch up!”
They’re lying. They’re in Europe. Their calendar is fake and their Out of Office is real.
6. “I think I saw a mirage… or maybe just a Range Rover in matte sand.”
Honestly, could be both.
7. “The car said 52°C when I turned it on.”
That’s 126.5 degrees Fahrenheit. And yet you still wore jeans. Choices.
8. “Is this a heat rash or my body rejecting capitalism?”
Valid question. Possibly both.
9. “It’s too hot to fight with clients.”
Which is why passive-aggressive voice notes are trending.
10. “Let’s grab coffee at that place in DIFC.”
You mean the one with valet, chilled towels, and judgmental oat milk? I’m in.
Final Thought:
Dubai in July is not for the faint of heart—or the improperly hydrated. If you’ve worn a blazer this month without crying, you deserve a raise, a bonus, and probably a penthouse.
Next up:
“Influencer or Intern? A Field Guide to Spotting the Difference in a Dubai Co-Working Space.” Spoiler: one has a ring light, the other has 14 tabs open and a mild existential crisis.
